Things to Do Today: 1) Read This Column!
Man, I just looked over my daily “honey-do” list, and it’s totally packed. You wouldn’t believe how many things I need to take care of! Well, maybe I should say “things I better take care of PDQ, before the wife finds out.” See, the list is from February 12th. It’s also from 2003.
Is there anyone on earth who doesn’t make to-do lists? I mean, besides children. It’s not that kids don’t keep track of things they want to do. But rather than write them down, which might leave a paper trail of inefficiency and procrastination, they just keep them in their heads. Which isn’t that difficult, since a kid has pretty much the same to-do’s every single day.
For example, if my No. 3 son (age 11) actually scribbled down a list, it would look like this, day in and day out:
1) Listen to I-Pod.
Also 1) Instant-message my friends.
Yet another 1) Do these things simultaneously until I go blind.
2) Holler at No. 4 whenever I notice he’s in the same area code as me.
3) Pretend to turn I-Pod volume down if dad seems to be saying something to me.
A list by No. 4 son (age 9) would be impossible to read, considering his indecipherable handwriting. But assuming you could decode it, here’s what it would say:
1) Play all kinds of sports outside with my friends.
2) There is no “2)”. . .just do “1)” until I go blind.
No. 5 son (age 5) likes to adhere to this daily regimen:
1) Have Matthew come over and play.
2) Have Sean come over and play if Matthew can’t.
3) Have Jarrod come over and play if Matthew and Sean can’t.
4) Have Peyton come over and play if Matthew and Sean and Jarrod can’t.
5) Cry piteously and screech “Daddy’s MEAN!” if he doesn’t make the ten-mile round trip to bring Akilesh over to play if Matthew and Sean and Jarrod and Peyton can’t.
You may have noticed that my kids would absolutely never put anything as humdrum as “Go to school,” or “Do homework,” or “Make my bed” on their lists. They’d say “Who needs to remind themselves to do such mundane and tedious stuff?”
Well, if they ever type “to-do list” into an internet search engine, they’ll learn that LOTS of people need to remind themselves to do the mundane and tedious, and that there are 1.42 million websites offering ways to help them.
There’s even a magazine all about to-do lists. Or there was at one time, anyway. It was called To-Do List magazine, and there’s still a website for it, even though it’s “on hiatus.” Seems the staff forgot to put “Write, produce and distribute the magazine” on their to-do lists.
No, actually, the guiding force behind the magazine, a woman named Sasha Cagen, is taking time off to produce a “To-Do List” book. The book will be published later this year by Simon and Schuster, and will feature 100 actual handwritten compendiums of things to do, written by 100 actual people. Thus, it’s a To-Do List book about To-Do Lists. Reminds me of a storyline from “Seinfeld,” wherein Kramer finds a publisher for his coffee table book about coffee tables.
Some of the lists destined for Sasha’s book may already be viewable on her blog, todolistblog.com, where photos of actual to-do lists have been posted since 2005. As I write this, the first list pictured is some British family’s weekly menu plan.
Sounds dull, right? But once it appears in book form, you can just bet that professional literary reviewers will say stuff like “This poignant scroll embodies an aesthetic of detachment, where idea and action are placed in a continual ironic counterpoint, both inside and outside the moment.”
Whereas I would simply implore you to never, NEVER make the mistake I made: Showing this particular list to 11, 9, and 5 year old boys. Unless you’re prepared for hours of juvenile snickering about weird British foods like collops, haggis, and spotted dick.
Oh well, at least it inspired No. 4 son to add something to his to-do list: “Tell my friends ‘spotted dick’ jokes until I go blind.”
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
Is there anyone on earth who doesn’t make to-do lists? I mean, besides children. It’s not that kids don’t keep track of things they want to do. But rather than write them down, which might leave a paper trail of inefficiency and procrastination, they just keep them in their heads. Which isn’t that difficult, since a kid has pretty much the same to-do’s every single day.
For example, if my No. 3 son (age 11) actually scribbled down a list, it would look like this, day in and day out:
1) Listen to I-Pod.
Also 1) Instant-message my friends.
Yet another 1) Do these things simultaneously until I go blind.
2) Holler at No. 4 whenever I notice he’s in the same area code as me.
3) Pretend to turn I-Pod volume down if dad seems to be saying something to me.
A list by No. 4 son (age 9) would be impossible to read, considering his indecipherable handwriting. But assuming you could decode it, here’s what it would say:
1) Play all kinds of sports outside with my friends.
2) There is no “2)”. . .just do “1)” until I go blind.
No. 5 son (age 5) likes to adhere to this daily regimen:
1) Have Matthew come over and play.
2) Have Sean come over and play if Matthew can’t.
3) Have Jarrod come over and play if Matthew and Sean can’t.
4) Have Peyton come over and play if Matthew and Sean and Jarrod can’t.
5) Cry piteously and screech “Daddy’s MEAN!” if he doesn’t make the ten-mile round trip to bring Akilesh over to play if Matthew and Sean and Jarrod and Peyton can’t.
You may have noticed that my kids would absolutely never put anything as humdrum as “Go to school,” or “Do homework,” or “Make my bed” on their lists. They’d say “Who needs to remind themselves to do such mundane and tedious stuff?”
Well, if they ever type “to-do list” into an internet search engine, they’ll learn that LOTS of people need to remind themselves to do the mundane and tedious, and that there are 1.42 million websites offering ways to help them.
There’s even a magazine all about to-do lists. Or there was at one time, anyway. It was called To-Do List magazine, and there’s still a website for it, even though it’s “on hiatus.” Seems the staff forgot to put “Write, produce and distribute the magazine” on their to-do lists.
No, actually, the guiding force behind the magazine, a woman named Sasha Cagen, is taking time off to produce a “To-Do List” book. The book will be published later this year by Simon and Schuster, and will feature 100 actual handwritten compendiums of things to do, written by 100 actual people. Thus, it’s a To-Do List book about To-Do Lists. Reminds me of a storyline from “Seinfeld,” wherein Kramer finds a publisher for his coffee table book about coffee tables.
Some of the lists destined for Sasha’s book may already be viewable on her blog, todolistblog.com, where photos of actual to-do lists have been posted since 2005. As I write this, the first list pictured is some British family’s weekly menu plan.
Sounds dull, right? But once it appears in book form, you can just bet that professional literary reviewers will say stuff like “This poignant scroll embodies an aesthetic of detachment, where idea and action are placed in a continual ironic counterpoint, both inside and outside the moment.”
Whereas I would simply implore you to never, NEVER make the mistake I made: Showing this particular list to 11, 9, and 5 year old boys. Unless you’re prepared for hours of juvenile snickering about weird British foods like collops, haggis, and spotted dick.
Oh well, at least it inspired No. 4 son to add something to his to-do list: “Tell my friends ‘spotted dick’ jokes until I go blind.”
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 5:09 PM
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