A New Holiday Ides-dea
Each year, at this time, I begin devoting long hours to ignoring chores, family, and sometimes even “American Idol,” in order to plan ways for getting the Ides of March recognized as a week-long national holiday. Unfortunately, my plans never get far, because I get distracted for long hours wondering what the heck an “Ide” is.
For answers to questions like these, there’s nothing like the fun-yet-sometimes-fuzzy-minded knowledge found online at Wikipedia. According to wacky Wiki, the Ides are “the days in mid-March that provide an excellent excuse for a pre-St. Patrick’s Day party!”
That’s how the Ides are celebrated in Rome, anyway, by the Italian chapter of the Hash House Harriers. The Harriers are a sort of international club for people who enjoy running long distances and drinking from long-neck beer bottles. At the same time. Rome’s Harriers combine these passions by draping themselves in togas for a run through the city’s streets and bars, being sure to wobble respectfully past the spot where Brutus famously pierced Caesar’s ‘ide.
The Hash House Harriers came into being in 1938, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The founders were British colonial officials and expatriates who shared boarding house accommodations: Albert Gispert, nicknamed "G"; Frederick "Horse" Thomson; Ronald "Torch" Bennett; and Cecil Lee, who had no goofy nickname because everyone agreed “Cecil” was plenty goofy enough.
The “Hash House” in the group’s name reflected their lack of enthusiasm for their boarding house food. Still, they apparently had no trouble overeating, and they began running, in hopes the exercise would keep their physiques from getting too lumpur-y.
To liven their exertions, they designed their runs after a British tradition called a “paper chase.” A lead runner, called a hare, got a head start, and left clues to his path by dropping shreds of paper. The other runners followed this trail to its end, where they’d all be arrested for violating Malaysia’s strict anti-littering laws.
No, actually, the runs ended at a hidden cache of ice-cold alcoholic refreshments. Half of which would already be sloshing about inside the hare’s stomach.
Thanks to the pioneering spirit of the original Harriers, runs like this – now called “hashes” – have spread to all corners of the world, and are conducted like the original treks, with a couple of nuances. For example, today’s hashes frequently include interim beer-drinking stops along the route. And participants are also encouraged to engage in special rituals at the end of the run. As long as the ritual involves beer.
The goals of hashing are eloquently stated on an ale-stained club registration card, dated 1950, for the Harriers of Kuala Lumpur:
“To promote physical fitness among our members.
“To get rid of hangovers.
“To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.
“To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel.
“To assure that members who are as old as they feel drink enough beer to forget it.”
Okay, I made up that last goal up, but still, I’m sure Hashers worldwide stand behind the group’s primary reason for being: to support drinkers who have a running problem.
When it comes to organizational structure, the Hash House Harriers have none. There’s no governing body, and no one knows how many chapters exist, although there’s general agreement that the total number exceeds “lots and lots.” There are even two HHH clubs in Antarctica, although they’re on double-secret probation for skipping the running and just drinking the beer.
At this point, you might think that all this hash-and-harry discussion hasn’t helped me a lick in developing an Ides of March national holiday. Guess again.
Here’s the plan: a cross-country paper chase, as in “across the entire country,” with hourly stops for beer. To assure it’s not just about emaciated marathoners, there’ll also be a talent component – karaoke at each beer stop. A panel of judges will eliminate contestants along the way, and when it concludes, the entire US population will celebrate their week-long holiday with the crowning of the winner, our new (timpani, please) American Ides-dol!
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
For answers to questions like these, there’s nothing like the fun-yet-sometimes-fuzzy-minded knowledge found online at Wikipedia. According to wacky Wiki, the Ides are “the days in mid-March that provide an excellent excuse for a pre-St. Patrick’s Day party!”
That’s how the Ides are celebrated in Rome, anyway, by the Italian chapter of the Hash House Harriers. The Harriers are a sort of international club for people who enjoy running long distances and drinking from long-neck beer bottles. At the same time. Rome’s Harriers combine these passions by draping themselves in togas for a run through the city’s streets and bars, being sure to wobble respectfully past the spot where Brutus famously pierced Caesar’s ‘ide.
The Hash House Harriers came into being in 1938, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The founders were British colonial officials and expatriates who shared boarding house accommodations: Albert Gispert, nicknamed "G"; Frederick "Horse" Thomson; Ronald "Torch" Bennett; and Cecil Lee, who had no goofy nickname because everyone agreed “Cecil” was plenty goofy enough.
The “Hash House” in the group’s name reflected their lack of enthusiasm for their boarding house food. Still, they apparently had no trouble overeating, and they began running, in hopes the exercise would keep their physiques from getting too lumpur-y.
To liven their exertions, they designed their runs after a British tradition called a “paper chase.” A lead runner, called a hare, got a head start, and left clues to his path by dropping shreds of paper. The other runners followed this trail to its end, where they’d all be arrested for violating Malaysia’s strict anti-littering laws.
No, actually, the runs ended at a hidden cache of ice-cold alcoholic refreshments. Half of which would already be sloshing about inside the hare’s stomach.
Thanks to the pioneering spirit of the original Harriers, runs like this – now called “hashes” – have spread to all corners of the world, and are conducted like the original treks, with a couple of nuances. For example, today’s hashes frequently include interim beer-drinking stops along the route. And participants are also encouraged to engage in special rituals at the end of the run. As long as the ritual involves beer.
The goals of hashing are eloquently stated on an ale-stained club registration card, dated 1950, for the Harriers of Kuala Lumpur:
“To promote physical fitness among our members.
“To get rid of hangovers.
“To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer.
“To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel.
“To assure that members who are as old as they feel drink enough beer to forget it.”
Okay, I made up that last goal up, but still, I’m sure Hashers worldwide stand behind the group’s primary reason for being: to support drinkers who have a running problem.
When it comes to organizational structure, the Hash House Harriers have none. There’s no governing body, and no one knows how many chapters exist, although there’s general agreement that the total number exceeds “lots and lots.” There are even two HHH clubs in Antarctica, although they’re on double-secret probation for skipping the running and just drinking the beer.
At this point, you might think that all this hash-and-harry discussion hasn’t helped me a lick in developing an Ides of March national holiday. Guess again.
Here’s the plan: a cross-country paper chase, as in “across the entire country,” with hourly stops for beer. To assure it’s not just about emaciated marathoners, there’ll also be a talent component – karaoke at each beer stop. A panel of judges will eliminate contestants along the way, and when it concludes, the entire US population will celebrate their week-long holiday with the crowning of the winner, our new (timpani, please) American Ides-dol!
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 11:48 AM
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