Dogging It at Work
On days when you find yourself working like a dog, have you ever stopped to consider just what kind of dog?
This is a question especially worth pondering today, which is the 9th annual Take Your Dog to Work Day.
People usually have a lot of questions about Take Your Dog to Work Day, one of the most common being, "My office is on the 47th floor. What do I do when Spot’s gotta, y’know, squat?”
That's a great question, but since I’m traumatized by vivid images of Spot barging into my cubicle and squatting on a crucial presentation that’s due to the client in 15 minutes, I'll answer this one instead: “How did Take Your Dog to Work Day get started in the first place?"
Many people believe this special event was inspired by a high-profile, made-for-TV relationship between one woman and her pooch, which accompanies her everywhere as she performs her culturally significant work. If you call whatever it is that she does “work.” I speak, of course, of Paris Hilton and her famous Chihuahua, Tinkerbell.
This isn't the case however, and since Paris has faded from the spotlight (honestly, no one’s seen her for, like, days!), the actual sponsor of Take Your Dog to Work Day -- a company called Pet Sitters International -- is finally getting recognition. However, this seems like a strange sponsorship for PSI. I mean, if the idea really took root and dogs always went to work with their people, wouldn’t the employees of Pet Sitters International have to go out and get real jobs?
Take Your Dog to Work Day is not without controversy. For instance, an online survey posted on msn.com found that 70 percent of respondents consider dogs in the office just fine and dandy. On the flip side, a poll on Monster.com showed that 68 percent of voters oppose it. Proving once and for all that Monster.com is the preferred website of cat owners.
I have some personal experience with co-workers bringing dogs to the office, and I can tell you that in every case, the dogs like me. I think it's because I taste like chicken.
However, at my current job, I have a co-worker who brings in a dog that I really dread spending time with. I can only kvetch about this if I slyly disguise the identity of the colleague in question. I will cleverly do this by calling her my "Ssob."
My Ssob's dog is pretty small. It weighs about six pounds, 5.7 of which are vocal cords. Its bark is the most obnoxious, grating screech you’ve ever heard. Unless you saw the video of Paris Hilton being hauled back to the L.A. County jail.
Someone told me my Ssob's itsy-bitsy cuddlemuffin is a Yorkie-Poo, which is perfectly appropriate considering the routine that he and I have developed when he comes to “work”:
1- He skitters into my office, sits at my feet and activates his obnoxious, grating screech mechanism.
2- I scratch his head vigorously, which is the only thing that silences him.
3- I stop scratching so I can, oh, I don't know, get some work done so I don't get fired.
4- He “makes a deposit” in my office that looks exactly like one of those chocolate-covered peppermint confections; I unaffectionately call this “Yorkie poo.”
Sometimes I wonder if I'd have a better relationship with my Ssob's dog if we were more compatible breeds. Remember that question I asked at the beginning of this column? There's actually a quiz on the Internet that will reveal what breed of dog your working style most resembles.
I took the quiz, and found it consisted mainly of routine questions that I’ve answered in dozens of different personality evaluations over the years: “I prefer a ‘team’ atmosphere at work”; “It bothers me when a co-worker eats from my dish”; “I’m okay with colleagues sniffing each other's nether regions.”
Unfortunately, the quiz doesn’t offer much hope for détente with my Ssob’s dog. I learned my “breed” is the kind that Yorkie-Poo’s tend to treat like, well, Yorkie poo. I’m a cross between Tinkerbell and a Beagle: a Tinkle.
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
This is a question especially worth pondering today, which is the 9th annual Take Your Dog to Work Day.
People usually have a lot of questions about Take Your Dog to Work Day, one of the most common being, "My office is on the 47th floor. What do I do when Spot’s gotta, y’know, squat?”
That's a great question, but since I’m traumatized by vivid images of Spot barging into my cubicle and squatting on a crucial presentation that’s due to the client in 15 minutes, I'll answer this one instead: “How did Take Your Dog to Work Day get started in the first place?"
Many people believe this special event was inspired by a high-profile, made-for-TV relationship between one woman and her pooch, which accompanies her everywhere as she performs her culturally significant work. If you call whatever it is that she does “work.” I speak, of course, of Paris Hilton and her famous Chihuahua, Tinkerbell.
This isn't the case however, and since Paris has faded from the spotlight (honestly, no one’s seen her for, like, days!), the actual sponsor of Take Your Dog to Work Day -- a company called Pet Sitters International -- is finally getting recognition. However, this seems like a strange sponsorship for PSI. I mean, if the idea really took root and dogs always went to work with their people, wouldn’t the employees of Pet Sitters International have to go out and get real jobs?
Take Your Dog to Work Day is not without controversy. For instance, an online survey posted on msn.com found that 70 percent of respondents consider dogs in the office just fine and dandy. On the flip side, a poll on Monster.com showed that 68 percent of voters oppose it. Proving once and for all that Monster.com is the preferred website of cat owners.
I have some personal experience with co-workers bringing dogs to the office, and I can tell you that in every case, the dogs like me. I think it's because I taste like chicken.
However, at my current job, I have a co-worker who brings in a dog that I really dread spending time with. I can only kvetch about this if I slyly disguise the identity of the colleague in question. I will cleverly do this by calling her my "Ssob."
My Ssob's dog is pretty small. It weighs about six pounds, 5.7 of which are vocal cords. Its bark is the most obnoxious, grating screech you’ve ever heard. Unless you saw the video of Paris Hilton being hauled back to the L.A. County jail.
Someone told me my Ssob's itsy-bitsy cuddlemuffin is a Yorkie-Poo, which is perfectly appropriate considering the routine that he and I have developed when he comes to “work”:
1- He skitters into my office, sits at my feet and activates his obnoxious, grating screech mechanism.
2- I scratch his head vigorously, which is the only thing that silences him.
3- I stop scratching so I can, oh, I don't know, get some work done so I don't get fired.
4- He “makes a deposit” in my office that looks exactly like one of those chocolate-covered peppermint confections; I unaffectionately call this “Yorkie poo.”
Sometimes I wonder if I'd have a better relationship with my Ssob's dog if we were more compatible breeds. Remember that question I asked at the beginning of this column? There's actually a quiz on the Internet that will reveal what breed of dog your working style most resembles.
I took the quiz, and found it consisted mainly of routine questions that I’ve answered in dozens of different personality evaluations over the years: “I prefer a ‘team’ atmosphere at work”; “It bothers me when a co-worker eats from my dish”; “I’m okay with colleagues sniffing each other's nether regions.”
Unfortunately, the quiz doesn’t offer much hope for détente with my Ssob’s dog. I learned my “breed” is the kind that Yorkie-Poo’s tend to treat like, well, Yorkie poo. I’m a cross between Tinkerbell and a Beagle: a Tinkle.
# # #
TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 8:04 AM
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