Mistories: Secrets of the History Detectives
The other day, I read that the PBS TV show "History Detectives" is regularly watched by some 5 million people, or roughly the number that read this column every week. In my dreams.
I'm one of those 5 million viewers, and I sure hope you are too, because I yearn to discuss the show with people who don't refer to history buffs as "Dweeby Poindexters."
I'm alluding to my kids, surprise, surprise. It pains me to say this, as the son of a history teacher, and the brother of another, but my kids show no signs of becoming History Detectors. They're more like History Detesters.
If you don't know much about "History Detectives" (known as "HD" by us Dwee-I mean, history buffs) here's how it works:
The HD team consists of four sleuths from the worlds of academia, antiquing, curating, and auctioneering. In alphabetical order, they are Gwen Wright, Wes Cowan, Tukufu Zuberi and Elyse Luray. Every week, ordinary people ask them to learn whatever they can about obscure yet potentially significant items that were found or inherited, such as a button from a Civil War uniform, or a vintage toy, or a tattered copy of one of my rare early columns.
And every week, the HDs get 'er done! They figure out where the objects came from, whether they're historically meaningful and, in most cases, why they have that vaguely funky smell.
In an online Question and Answer transcript, Gwen Wright says the average HD investigation takes four days to complete. That sounds flabbergastingly fast to me. First of all, to see the object in question and meet the owner, they often journey to places no one can get to, such as Terre Haute, Indiana. Then they travel hither and yon, detecting things. They spend long hours in libraries and municipal buildings sifting through ancient (Note to my kids: Yes, even older than me!) ledgers and records. Then it's back to the owner in Remotesville. When all's said and done, the History Detectives themselves smell vaguely funky.
HD has an expansive and detailed Internet presence within the PBS Website (pbs.org) where you can review past cases and their "solutions." But while surfing this site and others, I encountered a few puzzlements about the detectives themselves. It seems that, like their cases, Elyse, Tufuku, Gwen and Wes are shrouded in a little historical mystery - "Mistory," if you will. Consider:
> Gwen Wright says on pbs.org that the most interesting place she's visited as a History Detective is Baraboo, Wisconsin. Mistory: Is Wright - who also got packed off to Terre Haute - trying to say, with fuel-injected irony, that she blinking well wants to be sent to more exciting blinking locales by the show's blinking producers?
> An interview with Tukufu Zuberi on pbs.org includes the question "Is there a puzzle or mystery you dream of solving?" Here's his answer, in its entirety: "Good question." Mistory: Is this an answer? Or a puzzle that Zuberi is challenging us to solve?
> There's a Yahoo! discussion group called "The Elyse Luray Fan Club." People log on to discuss her detecting skills, as well as her pulchritude; many messages contain words like “stunner,” “all woman,” and "hottie." Nevertheless, Elyse herself occasionally joins in the conversation. Mistory: Isn't Luray a lil' leery of 'lectronic leering?
> For some reason, a book by Wes Cowan is mentioned on a website called "House of Cuss," which is described as "A topical conversation site for the offensively humorous." Mistory: Aren't people likely to find waaaay more offensively humorous material in my columns than in Cowan's "Societies in Eclipse: Archaeology of the Eastern Woodlands Indians, A.D. 1400-1700"? Also, when the book's sales spike sharply because of this mention in my column, how much do you think Cowan should pay me?
> A couple of years ago, one of Tukufu Zuberi's fellow faculty members at the University of Pennsylvania gave a speech in which he called Zuberi "the Barry White of academe." Mistory: Is it true that Zuberi stepped to the podium a few moments later and, with a strained smile, called that guy "the Dweeby Poindexter of academe"?
TakeFivet5@yahoo.com
I'm one of those 5 million viewers, and I sure hope you are too, because I yearn to discuss the show with people who don't refer to history buffs as "Dweeby Poindexters."
I'm alluding to my kids, surprise, surprise. It pains me to say this, as the son of a history teacher, and the brother of another, but my kids show no signs of becoming History Detectors. They're more like History Detesters.
If you don't know much about "History Detectives" (known as "HD" by us Dwee-I mean, history buffs) here's how it works:
The HD team consists of four sleuths from the worlds of academia, antiquing, curating, and auctioneering. In alphabetical order, they are Gwen Wright, Wes Cowan, Tukufu Zuberi and Elyse Luray. Every week, ordinary people ask them to learn whatever they can about obscure yet potentially significant items that were found or inherited, such as a button from a Civil War uniform, or a vintage toy, or a tattered copy of one of my rare early columns.
And every week, the HDs get 'er done! They figure out where the objects came from, whether they're historically meaningful and, in most cases, why they have that vaguely funky smell.
In an online Question and Answer transcript, Gwen Wright says the average HD investigation takes four days to complete. That sounds flabbergastingly fast to me. First of all, to see the object in question and meet the owner, they often journey to places no one can get to, such as Terre Haute, Indiana. Then they travel hither and yon, detecting things. They spend long hours in libraries and municipal buildings sifting through ancient (Note to my kids: Yes, even older than me!) ledgers and records. Then it's back to the owner in Remotesville. When all's said and done, the History Detectives themselves smell vaguely funky.
HD has an expansive and detailed Internet presence within the PBS Website (pbs.org) where you can review past cases and their "solutions." But while surfing this site and others, I encountered a few puzzlements about the detectives themselves. It seems that, like their cases, Elyse, Tufuku, Gwen and Wes are shrouded in a little historical mystery - "Mistory," if you will. Consider:
> Gwen Wright says on pbs.org that the most interesting place she's visited as a History Detective is Baraboo, Wisconsin. Mistory: Is Wright - who also got packed off to Terre Haute - trying to say, with fuel-injected irony, that she blinking well wants to be sent to more exciting blinking locales by the show's blinking producers?
> An interview with Tukufu Zuberi on pbs.org includes the question "Is there a puzzle or mystery you dream of solving?" Here's his answer, in its entirety: "Good question." Mistory: Is this an answer? Or a puzzle that Zuberi is challenging us to solve?
> There's a Yahoo! discussion group called "The Elyse Luray Fan Club." People log on to discuss her detecting skills, as well as her pulchritude; many messages contain words like “stunner,” “all woman,” and "hottie." Nevertheless, Elyse herself occasionally joins in the conversation. Mistory: Isn't Luray a lil' leery of 'lectronic leering?
> For some reason, a book by Wes Cowan is mentioned on a website called "House of Cuss," which is described as "A topical conversation site for the offensively humorous." Mistory: Aren't people likely to find waaaay more offensively humorous material in my columns than in Cowan's "Societies in Eclipse: Archaeology of the Eastern Woodlands Indians, A.D. 1400-1700"? Also, when the book's sales spike sharply because of this mention in my column, how much do you think Cowan should pay me?
> A couple of years ago, one of Tukufu Zuberi's fellow faculty members at the University of Pennsylvania gave a speech in which he called Zuberi "the Barry White of academe." Mistory: Is it true that Zuberi stepped to the podium a few moments later and, with a strained smile, called that guy "the Dweeby Poindexter of academe"?
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TakeFivet5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 8:30 AM
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