Rooting Around the Roots of Rooting
My family is beginning to choose sides for the Super Bowl.
No. 3 son (age 10), says: "It won't just be Super Sunday - it'll be 'Steeler Sunday'!"
No. 4 son (8): "Steelers schmeelers! It'll be the 'Seahawk Bowl!"
No. 5 son (4): "Football's boring! I wanna watch 'Pokemon'!"
From what roots did these rooting preferences grow? Well, No. 3 likes the Steelers mainly because a couple of his friends do. As for No. 4, I thought he hated the Seahawks. He's still mad they beat his beloved Colts in the regular season, and he's always referring to Seattle's quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck, as "Hassel-blah" or "Hassel-belch."
But yesterday, he explained how - after careful analysis of personnel and game plans - he's come to favor the Seahawks: If they win, No. 3 will be bummed!
Me, I’m still making up my mind. Consider:
> I could root for Seattle if only because the people who first established the town were led by a Hoosier. He was Arthur Denny, born in 1822 in Washington County, Indiana. (People there still can't figure why anyone would leave a place with hotspots like Farabee and Smedley).
Seattle trivia: Denny's party arrived at the site of the future Seattle on November 13, 1851. A memoir by Denny's daughter says it was gloomy and rainy, and "the prospect for comfort was so poor that the women sat down on a log on the beach and wept bitter tears of discouragement." Arthur's brother David, who'd arrived a couple weeks earlier to start a cabin, buoyed everyone's spirits by saying - this is supposedly true, now - "I wish you hadn't come."
That's a sad enough story to make me root for Seattle, but. . .
> I could root for Pittsburgh if only because the Steelers were the first NFL team ever to employ cheerleaders. "The Steelerettes" boosted crowd spirit at Steeler games from 1961 to 1970.
The Steelerettes were all young ladies from Pittsburgh’s Robert Morris Junior College, and rigorous tryouts for the squad included evaluations of personality, coordination, and the ability to outrun Pittsburgh quarterback Bobby Layne, who was a notorious party animal.
There was also a written test of football knowledge. A couple of the girls did so well, they were offered jobs on the coaching staff.
Steelerette trivia: A member of the original 1961 group got caught by Layne, but still made the squad, thanks to her name - perfect for a football cheerleader: Eleanor Lineman.
> I could root for Seattle, because its citizens have suffered through years of farcical football.
In fact, the Seahawks played the worst game in NFL history. On November 4, 1979, against the Los Angeles Rams, Seattle racked up minus-7 yards in offense. Many experts think this record for ineptitude will never be broken.
To make matters worse, it was a gloomy, rainy day, and when the game finally ended, the crowd of 60,000-plus reportedly sat on a log on the beach and wept bitter tears of discouragement.
> I could root for Pittsburgh, because Steeler fans have also seen plenty of pigskin putridness. In the team's first seven years of existence, they won only 22 games. By my calculations, 22 victories divided by seven seasons equals 3.3 coaches being fired.
> I could root for Seattle because the perfect name for a football player – or at least a male football cheerleader – is that of Seahawk Mack Strong.
> I could root for Pittsburgh because they put the "foot" in "football" - linebacker Larry Foote, that is.
> I could root for the Seahawks because nobody on the field will have a better nickname than Seattle’s Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack.
> I could root for the Steelers because they have the player with the most obscure alma mater - Ricardo Colclaugh, of Tusculum College.
I wish I'd known about Tusculum a couple days ago. That's when No. 5 and I faced off in a crucial trivia contest to determine who would control the remote on February 5th. I lost on the final question - "What is Tusculum?" I said it was a Pokemon.
Which is what we'll be watching all day Super Sunday.
Well, No. 5 will, anyway. I'll spend most of that day on a log on the beach, weeping bitter tears of discouragement.
# # #
TakeFiveT5@yahoo.com
No. 3 son (age 10), says: "It won't just be Super Sunday - it'll be 'Steeler Sunday'!"
No. 4 son (8): "Steelers schmeelers! It'll be the 'Seahawk Bowl!"
No. 5 son (4): "Football's boring! I wanna watch 'Pokemon'!"
From what roots did these rooting preferences grow? Well, No. 3 likes the Steelers mainly because a couple of his friends do. As for No. 4, I thought he hated the Seahawks. He's still mad they beat his beloved Colts in the regular season, and he's always referring to Seattle's quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck, as "Hassel-blah" or "Hassel-belch."
But yesterday, he explained how - after careful analysis of personnel and game plans - he's come to favor the Seahawks: If they win, No. 3 will be bummed!
Me, I’m still making up my mind. Consider:
> I could root for Seattle if only because the people who first established the town were led by a Hoosier. He was Arthur Denny, born in 1822 in Washington County, Indiana. (People there still can't figure why anyone would leave a place with hotspots like Farabee and Smedley).
Seattle trivia: Denny's party arrived at the site of the future Seattle on November 13, 1851. A memoir by Denny's daughter says it was gloomy and rainy, and "the prospect for comfort was so poor that the women sat down on a log on the beach and wept bitter tears of discouragement." Arthur's brother David, who'd arrived a couple weeks earlier to start a cabin, buoyed everyone's spirits by saying - this is supposedly true, now - "I wish you hadn't come."
That's a sad enough story to make me root for Seattle, but. . .
> I could root for Pittsburgh if only because the Steelers were the first NFL team ever to employ cheerleaders. "The Steelerettes" boosted crowd spirit at Steeler games from 1961 to 1970.
The Steelerettes were all young ladies from Pittsburgh’s Robert Morris Junior College, and rigorous tryouts for the squad included evaluations of personality, coordination, and the ability to outrun Pittsburgh quarterback Bobby Layne, who was a notorious party animal.
There was also a written test of football knowledge. A couple of the girls did so well, they were offered jobs on the coaching staff.
Steelerette trivia: A member of the original 1961 group got caught by Layne, but still made the squad, thanks to her name - perfect for a football cheerleader: Eleanor Lineman.
> I could root for Seattle, because its citizens have suffered through years of farcical football.
In fact, the Seahawks played the worst game in NFL history. On November 4, 1979, against the Los Angeles Rams, Seattle racked up minus-7 yards in offense. Many experts think this record for ineptitude will never be broken.
To make matters worse, it was a gloomy, rainy day, and when the game finally ended, the crowd of 60,000-plus reportedly sat on a log on the beach and wept bitter tears of discouragement.
> I could root for Pittsburgh, because Steeler fans have also seen plenty of pigskin putridness. In the team's first seven years of existence, they won only 22 games. By my calculations, 22 victories divided by seven seasons equals 3.3 coaches being fired.
> I could root for Seattle because the perfect name for a football player – or at least a male football cheerleader – is that of Seahawk Mack Strong.
> I could root for Pittsburgh because they put the "foot" in "football" - linebacker Larry Foote, that is.
> I could root for the Seahawks because nobody on the field will have a better nickname than Seattle’s Floyd "Pork Chop" Womack.
> I could root for the Steelers because they have the player with the most obscure alma mater - Ricardo Colclaugh, of Tusculum College.
I wish I'd known about Tusculum a couple days ago. That's when No. 5 and I faced off in a crucial trivia contest to determine who would control the remote on February 5th. I lost on the final question - "What is Tusculum?" I said it was a Pokemon.
Which is what we'll be watching all day Super Sunday.
Well, No. 5 will, anyway. I'll spend most of that day on a log on the beach, weeping bitter tears of discouragement.
# # #
TakeFiveT5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 8:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home