A 200-Mile Sale-ing Trip
Do you love yard sales? Does your bumper have a sticker that reads "I Brake for Bargains"? Are yours the first feet every seller in town sees when the garage door goes up?
Well, here comes the event of the heartiest haggler's dreams. On Aug. 12, 13 and 14, one massive rummage sale will be held along the entire length of U.S. Highway 12 in Michigan — from New Buffalo to Detroit.
There are longer sales, but what makes this one noteworthy is that every item for sale along the entire 209-mile route is coming from my basement.
OK, that's not true. But my basement is stuffed with so much junk that it could be. Unfortunately, it's really "valuable" junk. At least if you believe my kids, who viciously defend all their stuff down there with shrieks of "You can't get rid of that! I might use it again! It's still goooooood!"
What ticks me off is that their stuff takes up so much space, I hardly have any room for mine. None of which I will ever get rid of, mind you, because I might use it again, and besides, it's still gooooood!
Come to think of it, the U.S. 12 Garage Sale will probably have tons of valuable stuff that I crave: rumpled copies of Redbook magazine from the mid-1970s; the complete works of Philip K. Dick; or a well-worn baseball cap bearing the phrase "I [Heart] Garage Sales."
And those are merely the items I plan to give to my kids this Christmas. I was going to share with you my own personal garage sale wish list, but I suddenly think not. I don't want to be haggling with you over the good stuff.
Fortunately, there are several other angles to this story, all of which my family says would be very interesting if only they were explained by someone other than me.
For example, just last year, U.S. 12 was designated a "Michigan Historic Heritage Route." This means, among other things, that it's really really old. In fact, scientists have determined that Route 12 follows a trail created more than 100 years ago by 10,000 mastodons. Or maybe it was 10,000 years ago by hundreds of mastodons.
Regardless, they learned this from studying solid fossilized evidence — in the form of fossilized, um, solid waste — which the mastodons left behind in huge quantities, and which to this day is easily collected along U.S. 12.
Okay, okay, that story angle kind of stinks, so here's another: What kind of valuable stuff should you be alert for along U.S. 12? What unknown treasures possess that magical combination of historical rarity and high cash value? For answers, I phoned HAL, formally known as the Michigan government's Department of History, Art and Libraries.
I spoke to a nice guy named Scott Peters, a Collection Historian at HAL. He said if he was spending HAL's money along U.S. 12, he'd love to find uniforms and gear from Michigan sports teams, men's working clothing, and outdoor recreation stuff, especially camping and fishing equipment.
I actually have some of the stuff HAL's looking for in my basement, but as you know, I'm not getting rid of it. When I described to Scott the things — belonging to the kids, heh-heh — that we COULD donate to HAL, he sighed and said something like "Thanks, but we've got plenty of (fossilized mastodon evidence) like that."
Well, I'm pretty much out of space, which is okay, because I'm also pretty much out of angles on this story. Although I do recommend that anyone planning to shop U.S. 12 should visit a Website called "us12heritagetrail.org."
It offers several important tips, especially regarding where to park your car. The site says that in some spots, "parking may be limited, or virtually impossible." Proving that, in America, even a 209-mile long shopping mall can get too crowded.
Parking won't be a problem for me. I'll drive U.S. 12 next week, from Dayton (the one in Berrien County, not the one in Ohio) to Moscow (the one in Hillsdale County, not Russia), and every town in between, and reserve parking. Whenever I find spots I like, I'll block 'em with a few pieces of -- heh-heh -- the kids' junk from the basement.
And when that runs out, I'll just use some roadside fossilized mastodon evidence.
# # #
Give me some solid evidence — in e-mail form, please! — of your favorite yard sale treasure. TakefiveT5@yahoo.com.
Well, here comes the event of the heartiest haggler's dreams. On Aug. 12, 13 and 14, one massive rummage sale will be held along the entire length of U.S. Highway 12 in Michigan — from New Buffalo to Detroit.
There are longer sales, but what makes this one noteworthy is that every item for sale along the entire 209-mile route is coming from my basement.
OK, that's not true. But my basement is stuffed with so much junk that it could be. Unfortunately, it's really "valuable" junk. At least if you believe my kids, who viciously defend all their stuff down there with shrieks of "You can't get rid of that! I might use it again! It's still goooooood!"
What ticks me off is that their stuff takes up so much space, I hardly have any room for mine. None of which I will ever get rid of, mind you, because I might use it again, and besides, it's still gooooood!
Come to think of it, the U.S. 12 Garage Sale will probably have tons of valuable stuff that I crave: rumpled copies of Redbook magazine from the mid-1970s; the complete works of Philip K. Dick; or a well-worn baseball cap bearing the phrase "I [Heart] Garage Sales."
And those are merely the items I plan to give to my kids this Christmas. I was going to share with you my own personal garage sale wish list, but I suddenly think not. I don't want to be haggling with you over the good stuff.
Fortunately, there are several other angles to this story, all of which my family says would be very interesting if only they were explained by someone other than me.
For example, just last year, U.S. 12 was designated a "Michigan Historic Heritage Route." This means, among other things, that it's really really old. In fact, scientists have determined that Route 12 follows a trail created more than 100 years ago by 10,000 mastodons. Or maybe it was 10,000 years ago by hundreds of mastodons.
Regardless, they learned this from studying solid fossilized evidence — in the form of fossilized, um, solid waste — which the mastodons left behind in huge quantities, and which to this day is easily collected along U.S. 12.
Okay, okay, that story angle kind of stinks, so here's another: What kind of valuable stuff should you be alert for along U.S. 12? What unknown treasures possess that magical combination of historical rarity and high cash value? For answers, I phoned HAL, formally known as the Michigan government's Department of History, Art and Libraries.
I spoke to a nice guy named Scott Peters, a Collection Historian at HAL. He said if he was spending HAL's money along U.S. 12, he'd love to find uniforms and gear from Michigan sports teams, men's working clothing, and outdoor recreation stuff, especially camping and fishing equipment.
I actually have some of the stuff HAL's looking for in my basement, but as you know, I'm not getting rid of it. When I described to Scott the things — belonging to the kids, heh-heh — that we COULD donate to HAL, he sighed and said something like "Thanks, but we've got plenty of (fossilized mastodon evidence) like that."
Well, I'm pretty much out of space, which is okay, because I'm also pretty much out of angles on this story. Although I do recommend that anyone planning to shop U.S. 12 should visit a Website called "us12heritagetrail.org."
It offers several important tips, especially regarding where to park your car. The site says that in some spots, "parking may be limited, or virtually impossible." Proving that, in America, even a 209-mile long shopping mall can get too crowded.
Parking won't be a problem for me. I'll drive U.S. 12 next week, from Dayton (the one in Berrien County, not the one in Ohio) to Moscow (the one in Hillsdale County, not Russia), and every town in between, and reserve parking. Whenever I find spots I like, I'll block 'em with a few pieces of -- heh-heh -- the kids' junk from the basement.
And when that runs out, I'll just use some roadside fossilized mastodon evidence.
# # #
Give me some solid evidence — in e-mail form, please! — of your favorite yard sale treasure. TakefiveT5@yahoo.com.
posted by Don Stuart at 8:44 AM
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