The Future: Robotic Relatives and Eternal Plastic
The stuff stuffed into this column happened while I was on my summer vacation in Maine, frantically trying to avoid becoming a "CSI" storyline. (The setting: the shores of Penobscot Bay. Several glamorous forensic specialists examine my bloodless remains. They somberly note the tens of millions of mosquito-punctures in my skin. They seductively remove their sunglasses and look at each other longingly.)
But let's not think about that. Let's think instead about the future, when scientists have eliminated mosquitoes from the Penobscot Bay region. A future that also promises personal submarines shaped like dolphins, phones that transmit scent, and the permanent eradication of "CSI" spin-offs.
Yep, all this, and more, will soon be commonplace and humdrum. At least if you believe the visionaries who sponsored and participated in Wired magazine's second annual "world's fair" of the future, known as NextFest, held recently in Chicago.
Having missed the actual event, my vast trove of NextFest knowledge comes mainly from rummaging through the cyber-junk left in its aftermath — kind of like when my kids hunt for souvenir cups in Ross-Ade Stadium after a Purdue football game.
I was alarmed by one of the first things I learned: The future may be getting stale. One NextFest attendee claimed on his blog that some NextFest 2005 exhibits "were the same stuff like last year," such as the flying cars. I think he's wrong, though, because after all, this year's flying cars were available at special employee pricing.
Other fascinating NextFest bits:
"Robolobster": Wired says this gadget, designed to locate and detonate underwater bombs, "could almost be mistaken for the real thing." Whoa. I think the writers at Wired need to get out a little more. Because honestly, Robolobster only looks like a chunk of machinery assembled into the general shape of a lobster. Plus, I've heard it tastes more like tuna than lobster.
"Philip K. Dick Robot": If you've never heard of him, the late Philip K. Dick was a real guy. He was a popular science fiction author, and yes, "Dick" was his real name, and I can't do anything about that. Just promise never to show my 8 and 10 year olds the next couple paragraphs or several hours of pre-adolescent giggling and snorting will ensue.
The mechanical Dick was one of the most popular attractions at NextFest. It relies on nearly 40 "servomotors" to mimic natural and subtle facial expressions, and uses artificial intelligence and speech software to engage in "conversation." It apparently does all this better than the real Dick, whose personality was often described as kind of robotic.
The Dick-bot can even recognize people Dick knew while he was alive. For example, several of his relatives visited the exhibit, and the robot greeted them warmly by name. Unfortunately, things turned ugly when the artificial Dick asked them when the heck they planned to repay several outstanding loans.
"Blowaway": A video game wherein players puff into custom-designed tubes to steer an on-screen hot-air balloon away from danger and toward treasure and prizes. The harder you blow, the better you can control the balloon's direction. It's really great fun. Until you pass out, at which point your balloon plummets into a pit of frothing Penobscot Bay mosquitoes.
"Self-Repairing Polymer": This means plastic that "heals" itself, like skin. I'd love to explain how it works, but of course you'd have to understand "microcapsules" and "dicyclopentadiene" and "catalyst molecules" as well as I do.
Now honestly, does this qualify as "progress"? After all, a crack in those cheap plastic Happy Meal prizes has always been a legitimate excuse to trash them, a small victory in the lifelong struggle against the suffocating glut of toys in my house. But with "self-repairing polymers" we'll be able to keep even the flimsiest movie tie-in gizmo. . .forever! O, the rapturous joy.
Unfortunately, the technology passed an important test at NextFest. It was applied to the plasticky resins used to create the "skin" of the Philip K. Dick robot. Then, before researchers ever got a chance to give it a laboratory-controlled hangnail or shaving nick or Penobscot Bay mosquito bite, the Dick-bot got all cut and scraped and quickly "healed" on its own — after starting a brawl with Dick's deadbeat relatives.
Drop me a line. . .unless I owe you some money. TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
But let's not think about that. Let's think instead about the future, when scientists have eliminated mosquitoes from the Penobscot Bay region. A future that also promises personal submarines shaped like dolphins, phones that transmit scent, and the permanent eradication of "CSI" spin-offs.
Yep, all this, and more, will soon be commonplace and humdrum. At least if you believe the visionaries who sponsored and participated in Wired magazine's second annual "world's fair" of the future, known as NextFest, held recently in Chicago.
Having missed the actual event, my vast trove of NextFest knowledge comes mainly from rummaging through the cyber-junk left in its aftermath — kind of like when my kids hunt for souvenir cups in Ross-Ade Stadium after a Purdue football game.
I was alarmed by one of the first things I learned: The future may be getting stale. One NextFest attendee claimed on his blog that some NextFest 2005 exhibits "were the same stuff like last year," such as the flying cars. I think he's wrong, though, because after all, this year's flying cars were available at special employee pricing.
Other fascinating NextFest bits:
"Robolobster": Wired says this gadget, designed to locate and detonate underwater bombs, "could almost be mistaken for the real thing." Whoa. I think the writers at Wired need to get out a little more. Because honestly, Robolobster only looks like a chunk of machinery assembled into the general shape of a lobster. Plus, I've heard it tastes more like tuna than lobster.
"Philip K. Dick Robot": If you've never heard of him, the late Philip K. Dick was a real guy. He was a popular science fiction author, and yes, "Dick" was his real name, and I can't do anything about that. Just promise never to show my 8 and 10 year olds the next couple paragraphs or several hours of pre-adolescent giggling and snorting will ensue.
The mechanical Dick was one of the most popular attractions at NextFest. It relies on nearly 40 "servomotors" to mimic natural and subtle facial expressions, and uses artificial intelligence and speech software to engage in "conversation." It apparently does all this better than the real Dick, whose personality was often described as kind of robotic.
The Dick-bot can even recognize people Dick knew while he was alive. For example, several of his relatives visited the exhibit, and the robot greeted them warmly by name. Unfortunately, things turned ugly when the artificial Dick asked them when the heck they planned to repay several outstanding loans.
"Blowaway": A video game wherein players puff into custom-designed tubes to steer an on-screen hot-air balloon away from danger and toward treasure and prizes. The harder you blow, the better you can control the balloon's direction. It's really great fun. Until you pass out, at which point your balloon plummets into a pit of frothing Penobscot Bay mosquitoes.
"Self-Repairing Polymer": This means plastic that "heals" itself, like skin. I'd love to explain how it works, but of course you'd have to understand "microcapsules" and "dicyclopentadiene" and "catalyst molecules" as well as I do.
Now honestly, does this qualify as "progress"? After all, a crack in those cheap plastic Happy Meal prizes has always been a legitimate excuse to trash them, a small victory in the lifelong struggle against the suffocating glut of toys in my house. But with "self-repairing polymers" we'll be able to keep even the flimsiest movie tie-in gizmo. . .forever! O, the rapturous joy.
Unfortunately, the technology passed an important test at NextFest. It was applied to the plasticky resins used to create the "skin" of the Philip K. Dick robot. Then, before researchers ever got a chance to give it a laboratory-controlled hangnail or shaving nick or Penobscot Bay mosquito bite, the Dick-bot got all cut and scraped and quickly "healed" on its own — after starting a brawl with Dick's deadbeat relatives.
# # #
Drop me a line. . .unless I owe you some money. TakefiveT5@yahoo.com
posted by Don Stuart at 3:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home