Double Takes
While researching last week's column about Las Vegas, its 100th birthday, and Octavius Gass, I caught wind of some other wacky-Vegas stuff. Such as the fifth annual Celebrity Impersonators Convention.
Las Vegas always hosts this convention, apparently because, try as it might, it just can't provide enough real celebrities to satisfy consumer demand. But thanks to our nation's proud history of accepting artificial substitutes (think Tang, or Astroturf, or Donald Trump's hair), a thriving industry has been built by people with the determination, skill and foresight to be born looking like someone famous.
The convention agenda was packed with drama, which appeared real, although it may have been impersonated. For example, a speech was made by a guy named Eddie Moss, who portrayed Michael Jackson during the reenactment of Jackson's child molestation trial on E! TV. The crowd was asked to rate Eddie on his resemblance to Jackson, but as I write this, they still haven't returned a verdict.
Then, a "World Famous Cosmetic Surgeon" discussed "the importance of a flawless appearance." This talk included a slide show demonstrating "before and after results" of surgeries to make people look like celebrities. One example showed a woman overhauled into a Roseanne Barr double from her natural appearance (interestingly, she originally looked like another famous, but far less marketable, star: Audrey Hepburn).
Conventioneers also heard a speech by Franck — yes, with a "ck" — Marino, who talked about "his 20 years of experience as Joan Rivers." He made a pretty good case that he's more believable as Joan than Joan. Heck, his daughter — I mean, Joan's daughter — Melissa, even spent Mother's Day with him.
During supper the other night, my family tried thinking of people we know who look like celebrities. We only came up with one, and I'm not sure it's actually a "celebrity impersonation": a guy No. 2 son knows who looks like a Q-Tip.
We also asked ourselves a lot of knotty questions that I hope you'll help answer:
Q: Can a celebrity impersonator become a real celebrity him/herself? For instance, could I become famous for my excellent impersonation of Franck Marino?
Q: What if you're the spittin' image of a superstar singer, but couldn't carry a tune if it was superglued to you? Here's a perfect example: No. 1 son knows a girl who looks just like Britney Spears, but who unfortunately has a weak, whiny voice just like Britney Spears'.
Q: If you have a friend who's a double for Jennifer Aniston, should you introduce her to a Brad Pitt lookalike?
Q: I saw a picture of a Ray Charles impersonator, who frankly looked more like Jamie Foxx ACTING like Ray Charles. Does that count as two celebrity impersonations in one — a sort of double double? And if you book this guy for an event, do you have to pay him twice?
Q: What should you do if you look identical to someone famous that you absolutely loathe? Let's say you bear an incredible resemblance to Hillary Clinton; should you exploit that for profit even if you're so thoroughly Republican that you'd even vote for Hillary if she were one?
Q: What if you're impersonating a famous character who's not a real person, like Austin Powers, or Gilligan, or Cher? Isn't that actually character impersonation? And if you're lousy at it, are you committing character impersonation assassination?
The Website of the company that hosts the Celebrity Impersonators Convention featured a link called "Hot Famous Artist of the Moment." I clicked on it and found a picture of a woman who they say looks like the host of "The Weakest Link." Since that show is defunct, this calls into question how "Hot Famous" the host is. But beyond that, if no one remembers the celebrity you're impersonating, are you still a celebrity impersonator? Or just someone who needs to schedule some surgery for a new look?
And the final Q: Who do people say YOU look like? Or what sleb do your friends think should play you in the film version of your life?
For me that would be George Clooney. I'm frequently told I resemble him. From about 40 meters away. At dusk. From behind.
I'd love an e-mail from you, or your double. TakefiveT5 @yahoo.com.
Las Vegas always hosts this convention, apparently because, try as it might, it just can't provide enough real celebrities to satisfy consumer demand. But thanks to our nation's proud history of accepting artificial substitutes (think Tang, or Astroturf, or Donald Trump's hair), a thriving industry has been built by people with the determination, skill and foresight to be born looking like someone famous.
The convention agenda was packed with drama, which appeared real, although it may have been impersonated. For example, a speech was made by a guy named Eddie Moss, who portrayed Michael Jackson during the reenactment of Jackson's child molestation trial on E! TV. The crowd was asked to rate Eddie on his resemblance to Jackson, but as I write this, they still haven't returned a verdict.
Then, a "World Famous Cosmetic Surgeon" discussed "the importance of a flawless appearance." This talk included a slide show demonstrating "before and after results" of surgeries to make people look like celebrities. One example showed a woman overhauled into a Roseanne Barr double from her natural appearance (interestingly, she originally looked like another famous, but far less marketable, star: Audrey Hepburn).
Conventioneers also heard a speech by Franck — yes, with a "ck" — Marino, who talked about "his 20 years of experience as Joan Rivers." He made a pretty good case that he's more believable as Joan than Joan. Heck, his daughter — I mean, Joan's daughter — Melissa, even spent Mother's Day with him.
During supper the other night, my family tried thinking of people we know who look like celebrities. We only came up with one, and I'm not sure it's actually a "celebrity impersonation": a guy No. 2 son knows who looks like a Q-Tip.
We also asked ourselves a lot of knotty questions that I hope you'll help answer:
Q: Can a celebrity impersonator become a real celebrity him/herself? For instance, could I become famous for my excellent impersonation of Franck Marino?
Q: What if you're the spittin' image of a superstar singer, but couldn't carry a tune if it was superglued to you? Here's a perfect example: No. 1 son knows a girl who looks just like Britney Spears, but who unfortunately has a weak, whiny voice just like Britney Spears'.
Q: If you have a friend who's a double for Jennifer Aniston, should you introduce her to a Brad Pitt lookalike?
Q: I saw a picture of a Ray Charles impersonator, who frankly looked more like Jamie Foxx ACTING like Ray Charles. Does that count as two celebrity impersonations in one — a sort of double double? And if you book this guy for an event, do you have to pay him twice?
Q: What should you do if you look identical to someone famous that you absolutely loathe? Let's say you bear an incredible resemblance to Hillary Clinton; should you exploit that for profit even if you're so thoroughly Republican that you'd even vote for Hillary if she were one?
Q: What if you're impersonating a famous character who's not a real person, like Austin Powers, or Gilligan, or Cher? Isn't that actually character impersonation? And if you're lousy at it, are you committing character impersonation assassination?
The Website of the company that hosts the Celebrity Impersonators Convention featured a link called "Hot Famous Artist of the Moment." I clicked on it and found a picture of a woman who they say looks like the host of "The Weakest Link." Since that show is defunct, this calls into question how "Hot Famous" the host is. But beyond that, if no one remembers the celebrity you're impersonating, are you still a celebrity impersonator? Or just someone who needs to schedule some surgery for a new look?
And the final Q: Who do people say YOU look like? Or what sleb do your friends think should play you in the film version of your life?
For me that would be George Clooney. I'm frequently told I resemble him. From about 40 meters away. At dusk. From behind.
# # #
I'd love an e-mail from you, or your double. TakefiveT5 @yahoo.com.
posted by Don Stuart at 9:13 AM
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