TV's Most Afr-ful Show
This is such an exciting time of year! Millions eagerly await the big night when they'll park in front of the tube to gawk at glamorous mutts parading along red carpets.
You might think I'm referring to the fashion victims at the Academy Awards, and come to think of it, you'd be right. But I'm actually talking about the two-nights of televised drooling, scratching and sniffing that is. . .well, yeah, that's also the Academy Awards. But this column is about the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, which airs once again on the USA network, tonight and tomorrow night.
This famed fete for our furry four-footed friends is in its 129th year (that's 903 years to the contestants). USA's expert paw-by-paw commentary will once again be provided by David Frei, who has worked the telecast for I believe 154 of those 903 years.
There are 2,500 individual pooches of 165 breeds - each of which is assigned to one of seven groups - competing at the WKC show. Each tries to be chosen best of its breed, then best in its group. Those seven group winners then go muzzle to muzzle to be named - prepare for the hackneyed cliche - The James Mortimer Memorial Sterling Silver Trophy winner. (Betcha thought I was gonna say "top dog," dinchya?)
As it did last year, the WKC welcomes three newly recognized breeds to the competition. (I wonder how long this will keep up? Is there some sort of Dr. Frankenspaniel out there, constantly concocting new breeds?)
The newcomers are:
* The Barbara Boxer. . .oops, sorry, those are notes for another column. Let's start with the Neapolitan Mastiff. This may be, paws down, the breed most tolerant of children, who can't resist licking its vanilla, chocolate and strawberry hide.
* The Black Russian Terrier. The Black Russian descends from a whole bunch of other breeds. I could list them, but that would require actual research, and you can't expect that kind of effort from me at this stage in our relationship. I can tell you that the Black Russian has some very strict dietary requirements. For example, never feed it light cream or milk, or it'll turn into a White Russian.
A final note about the Black Russian: it's the only dog with the word "Terrier" in its name that's not judged in the Terrier Group. Rumor has it that the other Terriers were embarrassed by the Black Russian's affection for wearing a sort of Donald Trump-style hairdo.
* The Glen of Imaal Terrier. Bred in an Irish town named Imaal, by a guy named Glen. If you're wondering what this dog looks like, dog experts (dogsperts?) suggest picturing "a rough-and-ready Sealyham," or "a Soft Coated Wheaten." These are apparently breeds that resemble the Glen of Imaal, but that's not what came to my mind. . .don't they sound more like high-fiber cereals?
None of these three WKC "newbies" earned a place on the official show poster, which features a watercolor painting of several dogs crossing a city street. The poster strongly resembles the cover of the Beatles "Abbey Road" album, although the dogs on the poster are not nearly as furry as the Beatles on the record cover.
For you partisan types who like to howl for the home hound, there are competitors from almost every state in the union and some states not yet in the union, like Canada and Australia (if you know any of these pups, or someone who owns one of them, I'd like to hear from you). However, a week in New York City in mid-February failed to lure a single dog from Hawaii.
Some of the 165 breeds are barely represented at all in the show. There are only two Blenheim & Prince Charles English Toy Spaniels. They have very little chance of winning The James Mortimer Memorial Sterling Silver Trophy for Best in Show. But as consolation, they are guaranteed to win - as they do every year - the prize for "Longest & Really Rather Silly Sounding Breed Name."
The breed with the most entries is the Golden Retriever, which reminds me of a joke: what do you call an intelligent blonde?
Uh-oh, my blonde wife is coming up the stairs - I better wrap this up quick before she reads over my shoulder and- OUCH!
# # #
Throw me a bone at takefiveT5@qtm.net.
You might think I'm referring to the fashion victims at the Academy Awards, and come to think of it, you'd be right. But I'm actually talking about the two-nights of televised drooling, scratching and sniffing that is. . .well, yeah, that's also the Academy Awards. But this column is about the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, which airs once again on the USA network, tonight and tomorrow night.
This famed fete for our furry four-footed friends is in its 129th year (that's 903 years to the contestants). USA's expert paw-by-paw commentary will once again be provided by David Frei, who has worked the telecast for I believe 154 of those 903 years.
There are 2,500 individual pooches of 165 breeds - each of which is assigned to one of seven groups - competing at the WKC show. Each tries to be chosen best of its breed, then best in its group. Those seven group winners then go muzzle to muzzle to be named - prepare for the hackneyed cliche - The James Mortimer Memorial Sterling Silver Trophy winner. (Betcha thought I was gonna say "top dog," dinchya?)
As it did last year, the WKC welcomes three newly recognized breeds to the competition. (I wonder how long this will keep up? Is there some sort of Dr. Frankenspaniel out there, constantly concocting new breeds?)
The newcomers are:
* The Barbara Boxer. . .oops, sorry, those are notes for another column. Let's start with the Neapolitan Mastiff. This may be, paws down, the breed most tolerant of children, who can't resist licking its vanilla, chocolate and strawberry hide.
* The Black Russian Terrier. The Black Russian descends from a whole bunch of other breeds. I could list them, but that would require actual research, and you can't expect that kind of effort from me at this stage in our relationship. I can tell you that the Black Russian has some very strict dietary requirements. For example, never feed it light cream or milk, or it'll turn into a White Russian.
A final note about the Black Russian: it's the only dog with the word "Terrier" in its name that's not judged in the Terrier Group. Rumor has it that the other Terriers were embarrassed by the Black Russian's affection for wearing a sort of Donald Trump-style hairdo.
* The Glen of Imaal Terrier. Bred in an Irish town named Imaal, by a guy named Glen. If you're wondering what this dog looks like, dog experts (dogsperts?) suggest picturing "a rough-and-ready Sealyham," or "a Soft Coated Wheaten." These are apparently breeds that resemble the Glen of Imaal, but that's not what came to my mind. . .don't they sound more like high-fiber cereals?
None of these three WKC "newbies" earned a place on the official show poster, which features a watercolor painting of several dogs crossing a city street. The poster strongly resembles the cover of the Beatles "Abbey Road" album, although the dogs on the poster are not nearly as furry as the Beatles on the record cover.
For you partisan types who like to howl for the home hound, there are competitors from almost every state in the union and some states not yet in the union, like Canada and Australia (if you know any of these pups, or someone who owns one of them, I'd like to hear from you). However, a week in New York City in mid-February failed to lure a single dog from Hawaii.
Some of the 165 breeds are barely represented at all in the show. There are only two Blenheim & Prince Charles English Toy Spaniels. They have very little chance of winning The James Mortimer Memorial Sterling Silver Trophy for Best in Show. But as consolation, they are guaranteed to win - as they do every year - the prize for "Longest & Really Rather Silly Sounding Breed Name."
The breed with the most entries is the Golden Retriever, which reminds me of a joke: what do you call an intelligent blonde?
Uh-oh, my blonde wife is coming up the stairs - I better wrap this up quick before she reads over my shoulder and- OUCH!
# # #
Throw me a bone at takefiveT5@qtm.net.
posted by Don Stuart at 12:17 PM
1 Comments:
Does this comments thing work, and if so, how, and where are No. 1 and No. 2 sons when I need them to 'splain this stuff to me?
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